Custard
by Lou-deadfroggy
Summary: Sometimes you just can't win, especially against a little girl.


**Custard**

**Apparently it's Teobi's birthday soon and since you've been such a great help to me I decided to write you this.**

Jeff Tracy, billionaire businessman, ex-astronaut, father of six, head of International Rescue, glared at the alarm clock as if it were evil. Actually it was a pretty evil alarm clock especially when it went off, which it had just done.

Jeff groaned and sat up, rubbing his eyes groggily.

"Arhhhh! Gordon! I'm gonna get you for this!" Jeff sighed at the sound of two of his sons running through the house.

"Virgil! Gordon! Break it up!" Scott yelled as the sounds of fighting escalated.

"Ok Gordon, what did you do?" the eldest brother asked patiently. Jeff smiled, Scott was almost better than him at sorting his brothers out.

"He switched the sugar pot for salt!" Virgil screamed. Jeff silently thanked his son for the warning before heading out if his room. No wonder the young artist was upset, salt in your morning coffee was not pleasant.

"Did not!" Gordon yelled back.

"So who did?" Scott asked. Jeff was puzzled at that, who else would have done that? Alan and Val were still at school and John was off planet so that who? He entered the kitchen and picked up the sugar pot. No, that was filled with sugar. Virgil's coffee was on the table, abandoned. Jeff began to laugh.

"Dad?" Scott sounded worried at the sight of their father roaring with laughter in the middle of the kitchen. The eldest Tracy boy had a younger brother firmly by the arm and they were trying to come through the doorway three abreast.

"Virgil, was the sugar pot on the table?" Jeff asked. He glanced at the tabled before looking sheepishly at his younger brother.

"Sorry Gords," he mumbled. Jeff laughed again and pocked up the salt shaker from next to Virgil's coffee. They all fell into helpless fits oh giggles as they realised Virgil's mistake.

"I can see why you needed the coffee Virg," Scott gasped.

"The pranks won't start until Alan and Val get here later." Gordon grinned. Jeff stopped laughing. Oh no, he thought, summer starts today.

"I need a coffee," Virgil said as he pushed past Scott towards the blessed machine.

**TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBT-Time passes as time does-**

"Virgil! Gordon! Scott!" a small bolt of ginger shot form the door of Tracy One and tried to hug all three of her brothers at once.

"Val!" The group hug turned into a tickling session.

"Um yeah so like I'm home too you know," Alan muttered from the ramp.

"Alan!" Valentina shrieked and hurled herself at him. He almost fell over from the force of the hug. The older boys laughed at their sister's dramatics.

"Heya sprout." Scott ruffled the young blond's hair.

"Don't call me sprout," he mumbled underneath the mountain of siblings.

"Ok guys, hey Gordon can you give Val a hand?" Jeff asked as he lugged Alan's suitcases out of the cargo hold.

"Sure." Gordon picked up Val's luminous green case. Scott grabbed her equally as bright orange one.

"Argh!" he cried as it came open spilling pebbles and water balloons everywhere. Val and Alan doubled over with laughter.

"Oh that was a good one Val!" Gordon laughed before carefully carrying her case out of the hanger.

"Dad, can I have a tour on Five this summer please?" Scott begged.

"Oh, well John's back in two weeks then Brains and Fermat are spending three weeks up there so, in about a five weeks you can," Jeff said with a perfectly straight face. Scott sighed; this was going to be a long summer.

**TBTBTBTBTBTB-Time passes again with stuff happening**

"Custard!" Jeff woke up with a start. His evil alarm clock innocently showd the time as 6 am.

"Custard!" Val's voice shrieked again. Jeff frowned, it sounded like it was coming from beside his bed. He pocked his head underneath the bed to check the overactive ten-year-old wasn't hiding there. No, the room was suspiciously free of little ginger girls.

"Custard!" Jeff turned to his alarm clock and it dawned on him. She had changed the alarm on it. Custard was a pretty odd thing to force your father to wake up to though.

Jeff dragged himself into the kitchen to find his four earthbound sons drinking coffee. John's face filled the screen on the wall.

"Morning Dad," Scott said, Alan and Gordon nodded but the noise Virgil made was intangible.

"Oh hey Dad, did Val grace you with custard too?" John asked.

"She hacked Five?" he said, surprised.

"Yeah, little genius, why custard though? I mean it's her favourite food but "Get up!" is the usual thing to hack into an alarm clock."

"Beats me but I wish I had thought of it," Gordon said.

"Morning!" the male Tracys turned to glare at the chirpy little girl standing at the door. Val's smile slid off her face.

"Not funny?" she asked quietly, biting her lip. They shook their heads. She looked on the verge of apologising when she bounded over to the fridge.

"Custard?" Val asked hopefully.

"No, no custard for breakfast," Jeff said firmly. She gave him a little pout before pulling a pop tart from the cupboard.

Gordon leaned over and tapped Virgil in the shoulder. The older man looked up slowly.

"I've got a plan to get her back," the redhead whispered. Sleepily the artist grinned.

"Custard?" Val asked hopefully at lunch.

"No Val, you can't have custard. Have a sandwich," Scott wrestled the green and blue carton from her hands.

"Hey Val! I've got custard!" Virgil called. Instantly she whirled around and pelted towards her brother.

He was in the garden, a paddling pool behind him.

"Virgil? You said you had custard," she looked imploringly up at him.

"Sure Val, here," he said and grinned before pushing her into the paddling pool filled with the yellow stuff.

The plan had been for her to scream and then be so freaked out that she never asked for it again. That plan failed.

"Yay!" Val shrieked in delight and began to splash about happily.

"Bugger, that failed," Gordon muttered to his brother.

"What's going on?" Jeff asked as he stared at Val and the boys.

"Um, well," Gordon and Virgil started.

"Look Dad! Virgil gave me custard!" Val grinned.

"Boys? There is a rule that we all have to live by if we want to survive the summer: never, ever, give Valentina custard," Jeff said gravely before sighing at his daughter.

"Do you want some custard Dad?" she asked innocently.

**TBTBTBTBTBTBTBTB-Yet again, time passes**

"John!"

"Heya Val, how are you?" the blond astronaut picked his little sister up and hugged her.

"Good, can I have some custard, please?" she asked immediately.

"Ah, no not right now ok?"

"Ok, come with me, I have something to show you!" she slipped down and grabbed his arm, pulling him out of the room.

"What is it Val?" John asked as she led the way to his room.

"In there," she said excitedly. John opened the door. A jug filled with thick yellow custard landed on his head.

"Arh! Val!" he yelled.

"Haha! I found custard!" she laughed delightedly.

"We have to do something Scott," Gordon said as the five brothers sat in the lounge together.

"She's driving me mad," Alan added, they all agreed.

"If I even hear the word custard again I think I'm going to loose it," John whispered.

"Ok, anyone have a plan?" Scott asked.

"I do," Gordon said.

"Your last plan resulted in us eating baked beans for three days," Virgil reminded him.

"We could fill the pool with the stuff and then she'd leave us alone?" Alan suggested.

"Do we have enough?" John asked.

"That's ridiculous," Scott said. "We need something that will put her off custard for ever."

"I know, remember Virgil's coffee?" Gordon started.

"Yes," Virgil muttered.

"Well let's spark her custard!"

"That's brilliant Gords!" Alan clapped him on the back.

"Great, let's go before she wakes up." Scott lead them out of the lounge and into the kitchen. They sat quietly for a while until Val waltzed in wearing her vivid pink pyjamas.

"Morning Val," they said in unison. She stopped and stared at them suspiciously.

"Do you want some custard?" Alan asked her. She grinned and nodded, running to the table where they had set put a large bowl of the yellow stuff. She took a large spoonful and a moment later spat it back out.

"Yuck!" she spluttered. They smiled sweetly at her.

"What's the matter Val? Don't you like custard anymore?" Scott asked her.

"No!" she yelled, pushing the bowl away.

"Oh well that's too bad because we've got loads for you," Virgil said and they began to heap packets and tins of it onto the table until the little girl was almost hidden underneath the pile.

"Noooooooooooooo!" she wailed. They laughed before helping her out.

"What? No wait, I don't want to know," Jeff said from the doorway.

"Dad, Dad I don't want custard ever again!" Val clung to him.

"Oh!" Jeff said in surprise. "What do you want for breakfast then?"

"Marmite."

They Tracy boys sighed and collapsed onto the table, you just couldn't win.


End file.
